[Title on screen reads, ‘Safety from violence’]
[Text on screen reads, ‘Content Warning: Includes discussion of depression and violence’]
[Our Site logo]
[Wearing glasses, Akii is in her mid-twenties]
There's no situation where violence is OK and there's no situation where you need to make excuses for the person hurting you.
[Forty something Talie, is wearing a straw hat and glasses]
When you look at the people who end up in abusive relationships they're all different kinds of people and they're not just one background of people. And I think it's because the abusive men are just so good at hiding it.
[Fifty something Deb sits in front of a large window]
You find yourself sort of swept up in the moment and very quickly they then isolate you, denigrate you and that leads to verbal abuse and then usually physical violence.
[Text on screen reads, ‘Every woman and girl has the right to be safe from all forms of violence]
And so I think to say to women, "Oh, why would you have married him?" or, you know, "You'll definitely marry an abusive person," I think limits a woman. It also undermines their capacity to know different.
I'm quite passionate to talk about violence and to open up about my experiences and to let other women know that you can seek support and seek help and speak up about it and that even though we often want to protect the people that are hurting us for whatever reason they don't deserve to be protected, we do.
The counsellors told me that for every year you stay in the abusive relationship after leaving it takes that amount of time again to get through the trauma and psychological mess of that abuse so for the children it's the same, so get yourself and the children out as quickly as possible.
[Text on screen reads, ‘It is never OK for someone to be violent towards us]
It's been a bit of a journey to get to the stage where I don't have feelings of shame and being sad and being angry for what's happened and able to think of myself as someone who I might want to help and do those things for myself that I've done for other people.
Deep down I knew that it was wrong but I kept on blaming it was my fault, or I could fix it and it is apparently what so many victims believe themselves.
I think if I was speaking to another woman, whether they had disabilities or not, or even a child or a girl, I'd want to say that, "You're amazing," that, "You already know everything you need to do. It's inside you. You've got the answers. Trust yourself."
I want other women to know that it's OK to speak up and I want other women to know that there's nothing to be ashamed of and that there are supports and services available and I want to be able to empower other women to talk about their experiences.
[Text on screen reads, ‘Learn more at Our Site oursite.wwda.org.au’]
[The logo for Women with Disabilities Australia (WWDA)]