Content Warning - Mental Health and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

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I love stories, but reading hasn’t always been easy for me. I remember learning the alphabet as a young child and trying to understand how these abstract symbols create sounds and meaning.
I have OCD and I had no idea that it would affect my life the way it has, and I definitely didn’t expect it to have such a negative effect on my reading and the associated enjoyment.
Once I had a solid grasp on this new concept of reading independently, there were times where I would fly through books. And times when I definitely couldn’t.
According to one study, “patients with OCD may be more likely to repeatedly read the same text because of comprehension difficulties caused by either obsessions or compulsions” (Abramovitch, Abramowitz & Mittelman, 2013). Before I received my diagnosis of OCD, I did not understand why I had to compulsively read instructions, descriptions of paintings and information at museums. This also affected me as I tried to read leisurely; I’d have to re-read the same sentence multiple times.
Did I understand all of the words?
What if I missed something important?
I just knew that I had to understand everything or something bad would happen. There was no logical reasoning as to why skipping a paragraph about Douglas Mawson’s expedition to Antarctica would cause harm to my dog. But OCD isn’t logical; when I was faced with these intrusive thoughts at age 10, I took them at face value.
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As I got older, reading became tedious and exhausting; it was not overly enjoyable. When I eventually left school and made it through university and into the workforce, reading became more of a stressor than a relaxing way to wind down after a long day.

But recently, I decided to get an audiobook subscription. I used to think it was expensive, but not only do I get a credit each month for any book, I also have access to a plethora of other titles for a flat $20 which I pay on a monthly basis.
In the three months, I have listened to more than 15 books, some of which I have always wanted to read including:
- The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
- Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
- The Rosie Project by Graeme Simison

However, in the current economic climate, finding the $20 or so required for a monthly subscription can sometimes seem out of reach.
Depending on your location, many libraries have access to, and promote, phone apps such as
- BorrowBox
- Libby

Just as a regular library, the audiobooks which are found on these platforms are connected to your library card can be ‘borrowed’ and ‘returned’ by members – all from the easy access of your mobile device!

I spend much of my free time listening to audiobooks while completing daily tasks such as walking, shopping, cleaning and cooking. Sometimes, I get distracted in the activity I’m completing so I miss a little bit of what the narrator says. Luckily, there are ways to rewind.

But after attending therapy consistently, I’ve come to the great realisation that I don’t have to know or understand everything I see, read, or hear. Some things in the world just don’t make sense. And that’s okay. I am easier on myself now.
And you can be too.

Georgie Waters is a young, award-winning writer. She recently finished her Graduate Certificate of Creative and Professional Writing at Griffith University. She aims to complete her first novel manuscript over the next 12 months, while also working full time. Georgie hopes her writing helps to break down the stigma of mental illness - including clinical obsessive compulsive disorder. If you want to see more of Georgies work go to https://georgiecreates.wordpress.com/

[Image: background image is of black, type writer like words layered over each other so they are hard to read. In the centre of the image is a pink crayon drawn heart shape with the words read and repeat in black bold text inside it.]